


The ghosts we both have

by Ale_Song



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Grace O'Brien (mentioned), River Song (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 17:44:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16497266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ale_Song/pseuds/Ale_Song
Summary: It was quiet, too much quiet for Graham tastes. And it was unusual, especially knowing the Doctor’s attitude to be a hyperactive puppy.Maybe she was just tired, thought Graham. Or maybe something earlier that day happened.Just a short fic in wich Graham and the Doctor talk about their wives.





	The ghosts we both have

It was quiet, too much quiet for Graham tastes. And it was unusual, especially knowing the Doctor’s attitude to be a hyperactive puppy.

Maybe she was just tired, thought Graham. Or maybe something earlier that day happened. Actually, the Doctor was behaving oddly even for her standards since their meeting with the Aedefes. They made see things to their targets, their little way to lower the guard of their victims, so they can posses them and well, eating them from the inside out. 

He saw Grace, again. He almost break.

The memory of his wife still burning in his heart and stinging his eyes. It was all too much wonderful, seeing her there alive and not only a vision of his own imagination. But it was just a trick, even crueller than a lucid dream. The events of the day left he drained, so it was possible that the Doctor was affected by them too.

“Doctor, are you here? I was wondering if.... Doc?” Asked Graham to the empty console room. Curious, he thought, wandering in the room, the screens above the console showed different signs since the last time he looked at the monitor.

So they travelled, but where and when?

And then Graham promptly noticed a thing, the TARDIS’s door was open.

“Did you do that? Is that where she went?”

As predictable there wasn’t an answer, only a mechanical noise....was that an invitation or a distress signal? Graham quickly chose the first option, the Doctor somehow had explained to Ryan, Yaz and him what the different TARDIS’s noises meant. That was a really odd afternoon, especially since for some reason the Doctor had the brilliant (in her mind) idea of explaining how black holes and works by using as planets custard creams and their mouths as the black holes. 

Needles to say that the Doctor, after all that sugar, was more hyperactive than a child at Christmas. That’s how they learned that after seventeen biscuits, someone had to stop the Doctor from eating more of them. 

“Doctor, where are you? Are we lost again? Did something happen to the TARDIS?” Graham said, looking around and trying to locate where they were. It was an office, a normal - if not a little dusty - office. Since when the Doctor had an office? She didn’t look like a person who would own an office like the one he’s walking in. 

“What? What happened to the TARDIS?” Answered an alarmed voice from beyond the desk. There she was, turning dramatically in her chair like a villain is some film. She looked so out of place in that room that actually Graham started to wonder if they didn’t break and entry in someone else’s house.

“Doctor,” muttered Graham while approaching to the desk “What are you doing?”

“I’m doing nothing, Graham. That’s why I’m here.” Answered the Doctor without looking at Graham, her voice less vibrant that the usual. Yes, something was surely wrong.

“Well, you’re here. All alone in this unknown place.... It doesn’t look like you. Is everything okay?”

“Technically, this place isn’t unknown, at least for me. You see, I worked here not that long ago.” Explained the Doctor, pointing at a blackboard in the other side of the room. The Doctor as a teacher? Or maybe a professor? Graham couldn’t imagine it. 

“And since when do you have a job?”

“Hey!? I had quite a few jobs! And probably I’m still in the payroll check of some places. I think.”

“Are you trying to mislead the subject, Doc?” Questioned Graham. The Doctor rose up from the chair and he had to admit, she made quite an effort to look unaffected as she walked around the office, books in her hands as she tried to put them in the shelves.

“Maybe. Is that so obvious?” Asked hesitantly the Doctor after few moments of silence.

“Just a little bit. So....” Started Graham, uncertain about how to continue, the Doctor often had that effect on him. “Are you okay?”

“Why are you asking me? I’m the okayest alien you’ll ever see!” Answered the Doctor clapping her hands.

“Really, Doc. It’s quite evident that something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Ok, deep breath Doctor” Said the Doctor to herself, slowing her pace, “So, you know what happened today, the bad parasite that loves to feast of other beings’ meat?”

“Yes, I was there. You don’t need to remembering me of that.” Graham muttered.

“And you saw things, I gather.” Questioned the Doctor.

“No, I didn’t saw things. I saw Grace. She was there, telling me to get closer to her because she had fear.” Said softly Graham, suddenly unable to look at the Doctor, “But she wasn’t there. And you, what did you see?” 

She was in a different part of the room now, near to him. The Doctor sat at the edge of the desk, her eyes scanning the surface of the piece of furniture. She looked melancholic as an object, a photo thought Graham, caught her attention.

“My wife.” The Doctor simply confessed.

“What.” Was the only thing that Graham was capable to say.

“Yup. You hear that. I saw River.” Confirmed the Doctor holding in her hand the frame she was staring only few seconds before and passed it to Graham. Instantly he understood. He and Ryan weren’t the only ones who had lost someone recently.

“You never mentioned that you had a wife.”

“Have. I’m still married. Ish ... It’s quite confusing sometimes, even for me.” Explained the Doctor trying to lighten up the conversation. Bless her, she even tried to smile, but still didn’t work.

Graham looked down at the photo, it was showing a beautiful woman with an impossible quantity of curly hair. Her eyes were the thing that caught his attention, maybe it was only his impression, but that woman looked like the personification of chaos.

“What happened?”

“Ahhh, well...we..we defeated them, don’t you remember, numpty?” Said a little too much loud the Doctor, making her voice more high pitched than normal.

“Doc, you know I didn’t mean that. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Actually, no. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know how I would react. I always thought.....” Started the Doctor her voice dying in her throat as she stood up from the desk and started once more pacing around the room.“.....How can I expect or even deserve the chance to have her back. It was all my fault, it’s always my fault. I deserve it.” Declared the Doctor.

“Doc, I’m not following you.” Admitted Graham. He was starting to get worry about his friend, he never saw her in this state. 

Graham had seen a lots of things since that day of almost two months ago, when the Doctor quite literally fell from the sky. The fam, or team TARDIS, it usually depended from the Doctor’s mood during the day, had faced stuff that even the most hardcore sci-fi enthusiast couldn’t imagine, but nothing had prepare Graham to this.

The Doctor was scared, end even more worrying was that the Doctor was on the verge of crying.

“I killed her. She died because of me” Was the only thing Graham could hear before any of his thoughts were interrupted by the Doctor’s sobs. Then the Doctor with her eyes filled with tears looked at Graham’s hands, they were still holding the framed photo. 

“Can I have that back?” Asked the Doctor’s feeble voice. She didn’t even tanked when Graham handed the object to his friend, she was too much busy at staring reverently at the picture. Those sad, big eyes. They always impressed Graham when the Doctor was doing one of her speeches. But now he could see past them, and he noticed the veil of loneliness that the doctor was so able to hide most of the times.

“Sorry.”

“For what, Doc. You didn’t do anything.”

“I shouldn’t have react like I did. Sorry.” Cut the Doctor. Graham knew than tone of voice. It was the same of their second adventure (or unintentional kidnapping, as his grandson late pointed out), when they were left alone. No TARDIS, no backup plane, Graham really feared that they wouldn’t be able to go back home.

“When Grace died,” started hesitantly Graham, holding the Doctor’s free hand, “I thought that I would never see her again, that I had lost her forever. But that didn’t happened, she’s always with me, wherever I go she is there. Yes, maybe she isn’t here physically with us, but just the thought that she would enjoy what we are doing, this though keeps me going.”

“Ah, you humans!” Exclaimed the Doctor with a sad smile, still refusing to look at Grahams, “This is why I love you so much. For you there is always hope! What you are saying is, splendid. Wonderful. But I don’t deserve any of it. I had my chance....I had my ghost and I messed up everything. And today, when I saw that parasite, disguised as her, I just....I hoped, even dared to dream it was her, that she returned.... but she wasn’t. It was just a trick, a mere copy of her. And I knew that, the rational part of me knew that it wasn’t possible. But I just wanted her.”

Graham didn’t know how, but somehow they both ended up sitting on the floor, their back facing the wall. The Doctor looked much smaller than him, Graham thought as he cautiously wrapped her in an hug. He didn’t expect the Doctor to stiffen in his arms.

“I’ve been married to her for centuries. That’s quite some time. And every time a saw her, I was the happiest person in the universe. But there was always that little part of me, that feared how much time I was spending with her. Because one day our time would finish. You know, in a sense I can still meet her, but she can’t know who I am..... And then I would be only a stranger to her. Did I mention that our relationship wasn’t linear?” asked the Doctor, finally relaxing in Graham’s hug.

“No, Doc. I didn’t even know you were married until half an hour ago.” Confessed Graham. How was he so blind? The Doctor, the first time they met had mentioned that she lose her family, but he didn’t realized that the loss of it was so fresh in his friend hearts.

“Have you ever seen or read the time traveller wife?” Questioned the Doctor.

“Yes, I saw the movie once.” Graham recalled. Actually, Grace forced him to watch it during one of their first dates. One of the earliest thing that Graham learnt about his wife was that Grace was a keen reader. But remember, never judge a book from their cover, and especially by the movie is made from it by someone else, love she used to say. Obviously she wasn’t talking about movies or books, but he liked the analogy.

“Good. Now imagine an even more ridiculously complex timeline. That was us. And we were happy, we even settle down for quite a bit of time. Twenty four years. We had everything and I ruined it.”

“I’m sorry, Doc” Was the only thing Graham was able to say. 

It started to rain, the big stained glass projecting shadows in the wall behind them. This seemed to distract the Doctor for a little, her eyes trying to connect the little dots on the glass as if they were stars.

“The shadows killed her, more or less.” Muttered softly the Doctor, as if she was confessing it to herself. Graham almost missed it.

“Shadows?” Repeated Graham. How can a shadow kill a person?

“Well, the shadows were only the initial cause. The real problem was the system overload that was causing the planet destruction. My plan was to override the system by uploading myself, leaving it with enough memory to prevent the planet’s self-destruction. But.... She was faster than me, or to better say, she knocked me unconscious and then uploaded herself. She was always brave, my River. As your Grace.” 

“If they had the chance to meet, probably they would be friends.” Reflected Graham looking at the Doctor. She seemed pleased by his idea, she even smiled. A real time this one.

“River and Grace together? I can picture them. They probably would leave us somewhere and go to an adventure. Probably by stealing my TARDIS. That was one of River’s speciality.” Imagined the Doctor with a soft grin on her face.

They stayed in comfortable silence for few moments after that. Suddenly the Doctor rose up from the floor, helping Graham to get up his feet.

“So, Graham what do you say? Let’s go somewhere and make our wives proud.” Proposed the Doctor, the grin on her face still present and even bigger than few second ago.

“Oh, I like that plan, Doc.” Said Graham while following his friend back to the TARDIS.

“Of course you like it! All my planes are brilliant!” Echoed the Doctor from inside the time machine. “I love a big, good plane. Who doesn’t. Don’t Tell me Graham, that you don’t like a good plane.” Accused jokingly the Doctor pointing at Graham.

“It depends... Is the big, brilliant plane one of yours?” Teased Graham, happy that the Doctor had returned to her normal self.

“OHI! I offer you an adventure and you treat me like that?! Shame on you Graham O’Brien”

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, guess who finally wrote something? ME
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this, I hope you liked it! As usual, don't hesitate to tell me what you think!!!


End file.
